World War III? Sure, Why Not?

Wildfires are burning intensely, weather patterns are more unpredictable than ever, a pandemic is ravaging the world, and the green M&M is no longer hot. What else could we possibly need?

Oh, World War III? Because of the Russia-Ukraine crisis? Sure, why the hell not? Let’s toss that into the growing bonfire that is our planet. What’s a little worldwide warfare mixed in with climate change and a raging pandemic?

The crisis on the Russia-Ukraine border has been steadily escalating over the past nearly ten years into what may soon erupt into war. Putin has been strategically and aggressively making moves in Ukraine in order to bring the state back into its orbit of influence. As Ukraine deliberately moves towards a NATO alliance, Russia gets more aggressive. 

To put it simply, Ukraine wants to join NATO, NATO wants Ukraine to join, and Russia is super mad about that. 

Here’s a timeline to give you the full context of what may bring about World War III. 

1991 – Fall of the Soviet Union

The history behind Ukraine and Russia goes back centuries. The two nations have a shared heritage and cultures but are very distinct in their identities. Russia is harsh whereas Ukraine is pleasant. 

Ukraine is the likable, cultured friend whereas Russia is the drunk angry sibling that loves telling Ukraine what to do. 

In order to have a full understanding of the current conflict, you have to start with the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991. On August 24 that same year, Ukraine withdrew from the Soviet Union and established its own state. 

Since then, Russia has steadily tried to regain its influence over the continent. And people like Putin accelerated that with every opportunity they seized. 

2013 – The Euromaidan Protests

In November 2013, then Ukrainian president, Viktor Yanukovych, rejected an agreement that had been in the works with the European Union in favor of closer ties to Russia. The Ukrainian people didn’t like that at all. 

Thus, the Euromaidan protests erupted. The streets were filled with angry Ukrainian citizens demanding the removal of their Russian hand puppet of a president. 

February 2014 – Yanukovych Impeached 

The Euromaidan protests continued to spread across Ukraine. These protests were met with violence by police, who were firing live rounds at the demonstrators. 

The Ukrainian parliament voted to impeach Yanukovych and he was removed from power. The ousted president went crying to Putin claiming coup. 

February-March 2014 – Russia Seizes Crimean Penisula

In a move that was definitely not an escalation of the Russia-Ukraine crisis, Putin sent troops into Crimea and seized the local parliament and government buildings. 

Two weeks later, in a totally fair referendum under Russian occupation, the people of Crimea “voted” by “95%” to join the Russian Federation. To which the Russian Federation replied, “Why sure! Come on in of your own free will!” 

March 2014 – Russia Removed from G8

In response to the annexing of Crimea, the G8 leaders voted Russia out of the group. They are now known as the G7. 

It was the world stage equivalent of “you can’t sit with us.” 

April 2014 – Pro-Russian Separatists Take Control of Donbas

The Donbas region is located in the east of Ukraine. It is highly likely that Russia has supplied these separatists with the weapons and equipment necessary to wage a civil war. Russia has denied any involvement in the conflict. 

Sure, Jan. 

July 2019 – Comedian Volodymyr Zelensky Elected President

Zelensky turned his series about a comedian being elected President of Ukraine into a reality. The actor/comedian turned politician won the election in a landslide. He has taken a pro-European stance and has advocated for Ukraine’s joining of NATO. 

Putin isn’t exactly a fan of Zelensky. 

November 2021 – Russia Sends Troops To Ukraine Border

Satellite imagery has shown a steady buildup of Russian troops on the eastern Ukraine border and on the Belarus-Ukraine border to the north. Initial thoughts were that Putin was making a power play – current escalations have made that theory less likely. 

December 2021 – Biden Tells Putin To Back Off

I really hope Biden called Putin “Jack” in that call. That seems to be his tough-guy word. 

In a video summit, Putin demanded a stop to NATO eastward expansion while Biden threatened harsh sanctions on Russia. Biden basically said “don’t do it, or else!” To which Putin replied, “No, YOU don’t do it, or else!” 

January 2022 – The World Prepares For War

The Russia-Ukraine crisis has escalated to a near-breaking point. Biden and all Western nations have banded together and voiced their support for Ukraine. If Russia invades Ukraine, the United States and other nations will act decisively in Ukraine’s defense. 

As of now, the US will be sending some 2,000 troops to Poland and 1,000 troops currently stationed in Germany to Romania. 

Putin claims that the US is trying to draw Russia into a war. Evidence suggests that the ball is firmly in Russia’s court. 

It’s easy to see why Putin would get so aggressive with Ukraine. The United States is a mess right now, Johnson’s partying, Macron’s young, Merkel’s out, and Trudeau is just a Canadian. Of course Putin is going to take advantage of the opportunity. 

Whereas China is making smart, subtle moves in favor of worldwide authoritarianism, Russia is getting ready to start World War III. 

We are so f#@!ed.