Advocating For Yourself In Any Language: Q&A With Fanny Stassar of Memrise

I’m not sure if any of you have been reading the news lately, but it really ain’t easy for a woman in this world. Between the oppression, dismissals, interruptions, and generally unpleasant situations, women need all the help they can get. Enter Memrise, the world’s most innovative and effective language learning app. 

Fanny Stassar, the Senior French Language Specialist at Memrise, has been enthusiastically spearheading specific language lessons for women traveling abroad. She has led the company in a progressive direction by developing a collection of phrases in six of their most popular languages.

Memrise is aiming to give women travelers the tools they need to communicate effectively and assertively while traveling abroad. And with Stassar taking the lead, they’re sure to succeed.

We sat down with Stassar to get some insight on this project and how she encourages her female peers to advocate for themselves in any language. 

Can you describe a situation where a woman would need a specific language to protect herself? How do you know this is effective?

It can feel quite helpless and vulnerable when we don’t understand what people are saying around us, or when we can’t make ourselves understood. Having some expressions and sentences you can easily remember and rely on when you need them the most can be a game-changer. Simply being able to ask for help or ask for someone to stop whatever they’re doing that makes us uncomfortable can both be empowering and make us safer. 

Let’s say someone is bothering you in a bar, you may be more likely to call them out on their behavior and make them stop, or you may be more prepared to ask for help.

On the other hand, if you don’t have any knowledge of the language to ask for help or express that you feel in danger, you might completely shut down or truly not know what to do or who to turn to.

I think for me, especially when I was younger, street harassment was always a huge source of anxiety and fear at times. French phrases like laisse-moi tranquille (“leave me alone”), and non c’est non (“no means no”), instantly come to my mind. In Japanese, I really like the sentences 興味ありません (“I’m not interested”) and 失礼ですよ (“that’s rude”).

How would a woman use language to assert herself?

I think we’re still used to associating power, assertiveness, and confidence more with men than women – especially in the workplace. Women tend to be interrupted, ignored, or have ideas stolen more so than men – especially women of color and ethnic minorities. Being prepared to use “I’ve not finished my point,” or “I’m still talking” when that happens can ensure you assert yourself and make your point across. 

If you take the time to prepare yourself before a meeting, in which you feel that might happen, then you’re more likely to make yourself heard (and that’s true for everyone). You will also potentially be more prepared to call it out when you see a colleague being interrupted or ignored.

What kind of success do you anticipate with this specific use of language? 

Hard one to answer! I think I’m still from a generation when you would learn that it’s better not to make waves. We’re taught that if someone is bothering you, it is best you leave the situation and not “make it worse.” 

I think things are definitely changing; behaviors that may have been acceptable or shrugged off in the past, are now being called out and mentalities are evolving a lot thanks to that. 

But to be able to call things out, you need the words and to me, the success of those courses is in modeling those words, modeling how to call out, how to make yourself and others respected, regardless of your gender, your age, the way you dress, or your job title. The success of these courses to me would be making even just one person feel more confident about how to make themselves respected in any kind of situation. 

What has your experience been as a woman in a leadership role?

I do look up to the female leaders I have the chance to work with, as well as those in my personal life. I’ve learned a lot from the female leaders in my life, especially about the way they express themselves and the words and intonations they use to assert themselves. I try to apply some when I need to. Things like “trust me, I know what I’m talking about” when their expertise is put in doubt; “let me finish my point” when someone jumps the gun before they finished talking. I know on paper these can sound quite confrontational, but when said with a calm, confident voice, there is nothing defensive about those phrases.

 How do you encourage your peers to advocate for themselves and their principles? 

I try to be a good listener and if I’m interrupting someone, I will call myself out. I hope sets the example that it’s OK to call someone out for interrupting. There isn’t always malice behind it. Something I try to do more of is to celebrate my workmates when it is due. I make sure light is shone on their work, ideas, and efforts, especially with those who tend to not talk about their work too much. 

At Memrise, we also wanted to include sentences that can be used to uplift your peers and show them you’ve got their backs. I love the Spanish sentence no te dejes pisotear (“don’t let others walk over you”), and the Korean 전 당신을 믿어요 (“I believe you”). In German you can say kannst du sie bitte ausreden lassen? (“can you let her finish speaking please?“), which is a great way to advocate for someone.

Some people are great communicators and will make sure that they get recognition when due. Others might find it more difficult or uncomfortable, so I try to bring that up when I can.

–Learn more about this constructive effort on Memrise’s site here. If you’re looking to learn a new language, you can’t do better than Memrise.