Literally No One Watched The 2022 Golden Globes

The 2022 Golden Globes were especially sad this year. No, not because Ricky Gervais spoke some harsh truths. No, not because a celebrity was laughably drunk. The 2022 Golden Globes were so sad this year because literally no one watched them. 

How can that be, you ask. The Golden Globes are what kick off the awards season! It’s how we know which celebrities to cheer for and what movies and series to watch! It gets such high ratings! Why oh why would no one watch them? 

Like many things in Hollywood, it was an open secret that Golden Globes are bought. But if you thought blatant and open corruption is why the Golden Globes were “canceled” this year, you thought wrong. 

This year, the 2022 Golden Globes were “canceled” by NBC over diversity issues AND the fact that they’re so openly corrupt. 

How Did All This Start?

This all begins in 1943 with the founding of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, or HFPA (pronounced “hüf-pah” out loud). This was a group of foreign journalists trying to band together to create success for the international coverage of all things Hollywood. 

They realized early on that the best way to get Hollywood’s attention is to throw an awards ceremony. Which, knowing what we know about celebrities, is a pretty smart idea. 

And so, The Golden Globes were born! It was a flashy, fun party to kick off the awards season and snag some prestige for HFPA. 

No, How Did All This Controversy Start?

I’m getting there, Eager McBeaver. There’s this little thing called “context.” 

Early on, the Golden Globes earned a reputation for being fairly easy to get to. That is, if you wanted to win a Globe, all you had to do was something super nice for HFPA. Buy them all steak dinners and it wouldn’t matter how mediocre your performance was. If you delivered steak dinners, they delivered a Globe. 

If you want to know who’s popular in Hollywood that year, just see who won a Globe. 

This was an open secret for many, many years. It was part of the Hollywood awards game. And nobody took it seriously because the Globes were just a flashy, crappy, drunken affair. 

Unfortunately, HFPA became too comfortable in their tactics and were only celebrating a certain type of entertainer. A white type of entertainer. 

HFPA Lacks Diversity

An LATimes report back in February 2021 profiled HFPA and its oxymoronic openly subtle methods with no black members among its 87. 

It’s one thing to be corrupt, it’s another to be openly corrupt and not let black people join in on the corruption. 

After the damning LATimes report, a lawsuit, and studios like Netflix deciding to boycott the famously unserious awards show, NBC decided to pull the plug on broadcasting. 

“We continue to believe that the HFPA is committed to meaningful reform. However, change of this magnitude takes time and work, and we feel strongly that the HFPA needs time to do it right. 

“As such, NBC will not air the 2022 Golden Globes.” 

The 2021 Golden Globes contained a considerable lack of black performers and productions, despite some productions being incredibly popular and critically acclaimed. 

I guess I May Destroy You didn’t have a sweet enough gift for HFPA. Quality work just doesn’t hit quite as well as a free trip to Paris, ya know?

So, How Did The 2022 Golden Globes Look?

They looked pitiful. The 2022 Golden Globes were not televised nor live-streamed. There was no red carpet, no audience, no drunk celebrities, and no delightfully harsh ribbings from Ricky Gervais. 

HFPA hosted the event at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Los Angeles. They announced winners on their website and Twitter. 

HFPA tried to blame the lack of attendance on their super serious COVID protocols. 

“Health and safety remain a top priority for the HFPA. There will not be an audience on January 9, and the following precautions are being taken for select members and grantees who will be in the room: Proof of vaccination and booster shot, along with a negative PCR test within 48 hours, is required for entry; All guests will be masked and socially distanced at all times while inside the ballroom; There will be no red carpet.”

It must be nice to use a pandemic when it’s convenient. 

How Have Celebrities Reacted?

Amy Poehler, multiple-time co-host to the Globes, said:

“A lot of flashy garbage got nominated. But that happens. That’s, like, their thing. A number of black actors and black-led projects were overlooked.” 

Mark Ruffalo said:

“As a recent winner of a Golden Globe, I cannot feel proud or happy about being a recipient of this award. It’s discouraging.”

Tom Cruise is returning his three Golden Globes. 

Ouch. 

Where Do We Go From Here?

Anywhere away from awards shows. It must be exciting to win one, especially if you work within the industry. It’s fun to watch the red carpet and see people we don’t know (but we like) dress in outfits worth a couple of mortgage payments. And, frankly, the Golden Globes had a reputation for being fun. 

But, honestly, award shows are stupid. They don’t matter. They only matter to a room of self-congratulating celebrities who have spent virtually no time in the real world. 

Representation matters, of course. The Golden Globes and HFPA should be held to account for both their lack of diversity and the fact that they are worth absolutely nothing as long as they can be bought so openly. 

Did you even notice that the Golden Globes weren’t on this year? Did you even care?