Museum Starts An OnlyFans Account

Won’t somebody please think of the children? No, really, won’t somebody please think of the children? Specifically their art education? Because some people (ahem, TikTok) are trying to ruin it. Due to some out-of-control prudishness, a consortium of Viennese museums has started an OnlyFans account after TikTok banned their account. The reason for the ban? Nudity. 

The “Vienna Laid Bare” initiative started in response to the ban by the Vienna Tourism Board. OnlyFans, with its allowance of nudity and sexual content, is an easy, buzzworthy choice for the museums. If you’re going to battle social media giants and their fear of art, might as well do it in the press. 

“Vienna and its art institutions are among the casualties of this new wave of prudishness – with nude statues and famous artworks blacklisted under social media guidelines, and repeat offenders even finding their accounts temporarily suspended. 

“That’s why we decided to put the capital’s world-famous ‘explicit’ artworks to OnlyFans.”

“Major social media channels like Instagram and Facebook have nudity and ‘lewd’ content firmly in their sites.” – Helena Hartlauer of the Vienna Tourism Board told Motherboard. 

Adam Should Be Wearing Cut Offs

Art censorship is nothing new. For centuries, people have always found ways to get upset over nudity. Especially when said nudity is presented in an artistic manner. It’s always been far easier to blame society’s ills on art and culture. Why address the issues when you can point the finger at a nude statue? 

Even if the artworks in question are not being blamed for society’s ills, there seems to be a kneejerk reaction to nudity — censor it. Whether it’s social media’s algorithm or their not-so-subtle conservative leanings, something is messed up when museums are forced to make an OnlyFans account in order to share works of art. 

“Part of what makes this problematic is that there are no clear guidelines on these platforms, nor rhyme or reason, in regards to what nudity is considered ‘offensive’ and what nudity is not.

“We’ve had 3,000-year-old works of art be censored. 

“Clearly something is wrong here.” 

Censorship Is Lame

The Vienna Tourism Board has taken a clever approach by starting an OnlyFans account. This tactic allows the artwork in question a chance to be displayed while also pointing out just how absurd TikTok is for banning an account from a museum. 

The right-wing extremists sharing misinformation about vaccines? Fine. Nude painting? Cover it up, quickly!!!

If TikTok is as cool as it likes to think it is, it would chill out on the art censorship. Art, no matter if it’s nude or clothed, violent or tamed, should never be censored. It is one of the most elevating traits of our humanity. Art allows us to look inside ourselves and at our world in indescribable ways. 

The worst thing we can do to ourselves is to slap a grape leaf on David’s nether regions. What do we gain by hiding the human form? Allowing nude art is not an endorsement of hippie-dippie-nudey-nonsense. 

TikTok Looks Lame Now

Do you know who comes out looking dumb in all of this? TikTok. And other social media empires. Do you know who comes out looking cool? An effing museum. The place that shushes you and tells you not to leave a drink around. Those guys look cool now, thanks to TikTok.

TikTok, with all of its trendy coordinated dances and relationship mystery-solving, looks like a pair of conservative parents from a bad 1950s movie. For shame. 

For those among us who are open-minded and not prudish, OnlyFans subscribers of Vienna Laid Bare are eligible for a free Vienna City Card or a free ticket to the featured museums. 

Do yourself a favor, and expose yourself to art.